Forever!!!!

     It has been a long time since I have been here, seems like forever.  It has been a crazy ride.  My son started football.  Practice at 7 am.  REALLY!!!  For those of us that have insomnia and don't get any sleep, 7 am is a horrible time.  So for 3 weeks in a row, he had to be at football camp/practice and 7 am.  then scrimmages on the weekend.  Bring that along with little sleep, a whole lot more moving around, being stuck in the car, school shopping, open house at school and just in general trying to get the last bit of summer in, Pain levels were and still are through the roof.  I have done very little on the computer for in those weeks.  It simply just hurt to much to even type.
     The one good thing that did happen in that time is my insurance company finally decided that they would approve my Cymbalta and I am back on it.  Now, we are slowly working at getting it back to the right levels so  it works the best the best for me.  Of course it is a slow process, but I can tell you, if I was not on the Cymbalta, I would not be moving at all.  I am still a bit worried about the cost since we have such a high deductible, but being able to get out of bed sometimes is worth it.
     I am also still waiting to hear something, anything from disability.  I have had to fill out two additional papers since my original form and they were obtaining my medical records.  I am hoping to hear from them soon, at least with some tidbit of info.  It truly is a shame that it takes so long for them to take care of all of this, especially since most of the time people truly need financial and medical assistance it will afford them.  I have my fingers crossed and keep praying.  I just keep doing what I can.
     With the weather change and the humidity dropping, things have also been a bit easier on me.  Outside is not quite as exhausting as it was.  I can actually sit outside in the sun for a bit and not feel like I am drained because the humidity took all my energy.  It has quieted down around my house as well.  Living in a beach resort town, things are quite crazy from mid may to Labor Day.  Weekends may be a bit crazy yet, especially this weekend since it is Delmarva Bike Weekend.  This is the weekend where the area is invaded by every kind of motorcycle you can imagine.  It is always a whole lot of fun to see all of the bikes, see them all cleaned up, decked out, and hear them roar down the road.  It also means a bunch of my friends from up home in PA will be heading down to join the festivities.  I hope I get to meet up with a couple of them to at least just say hi.  Of course, I don't have a motorcycle, I don't have enough balance, or strength, but I do totally like the tricycle ones.  Maybe someday, lol.
     Well, that is all that has happened since the last time I posted.  A whole lot of rest, and very little of anything else.  Hoping to keep up the best I can.  How have you been?   I hope all is well for you.

New Meds again!!!

It has been almost one week since I started my amitriptyline, to replace the Cymbalta I had to relinquish since I could no longer afford to pay for it.  Still not sure how I feel on it.  I am trying to give it the "old college try".  I can tell you one thing I have noticed.  It sure does make me sleepy.  My severe insomnia has become less severe, but it lingers and makes me very sluggish all day.  So I guess it is a wash.  I am getting more sleep, but I am not waking up feeling any more rested, actually I am feeling more tired.  UUGGHH!
So here is the list of side effects for this particular medicine:

• nausea
• vomiting
• drowsiness
• weakness or tiredness
• nightmares
• headaches
• dry mouth
• constipation
• difficulty urinating
• blurred vision
• pain, burning, or tingling in the hands or feet
• changes in sex drive or ability
• excessive sweating
• changes in appetite or weight
• confusion
• unsteadiness.
  Does it make sense that I am taking this medicine to help with headaches and pain and it has a major side effect of headache.  I can never figure it out.  Then, it messes with my blood sugar, so not fun since I have been diet controlled for so long I don't test and so now when I feel "off" I can't test because I don't have the equipment.  So, I just keep pushing on and on.  Why on earth is there not a medicine that can just fix it, without causing more problems.  I mean for crying out loud, is taking some of the pain away worth getting so tired you can't enjoy it.  It is frustrating.  I try and keep thinking, maybe I need some time to get used to the medicine.  Maybe once my body adjust to it, I won't feel like a walking zombie, but then the question arises, how long do you wait to see if your body adjusts to the medicine?  I wondered aimlessly through the grocery store tonight, wobbling like someone that just had a dual hip replacement, so I could try and get a few items because my fridge and pantry were looking like a bachelors pad after a 3 week party binge.  I needed my husband to drive me, just did not feel comfortable enough to do it myself, but once there, I was so tired, it took every ounce of energy to get me through the store to get the groceries.  The worst of it all, I still have a pretty decent headache, it is not like it has made a huge dent in the pain.  I so want to be back to my old self.  I want a day without pain.  I want to wake up, not have to take a handful of meds to function, to be able to get in the car and do whatever I want for as long as I want, without any help.  I want to make dinner, and eat it, no matter what it is, and then run around with my family after dinner, doing, again, whatever I want. All in all, I will continue to fight to find the right medication.  I will try and continue to give it the "old college" try.  I try not to let it stick in my head that it won't work, or to let the side effects list blemish my opinion of the medicine.  The only major problem I have is I was taking Cymbalta, did not realize how well it was working until I could not afford it and now have to try all these other medicines.  Even though they had to increase my Cymbalta dosage, I did not feel like a zombie, I did not get dizzy, motion sick, it did not mess with my sugar levels, and I could go to the grocery store by myself, (well the last one, at least one at least occasionally).  All I know, is I have to try and keep my spirits up, continue to be a guinea pig and hope it all works out in the end..  For now, I keep working with the amitriptyline and hoping it is the one, or that I can rule it out sooner than later!  So for now, keep smiling and moving forward, nothing else you can do!!!  Gentle hugs to you all.