Forever!!!!

     It has been a long time since I have been here, seems like forever.  It has been a crazy ride.  My son started football.  Practice at 7 am.  REALLY!!!  For those of us that have insomnia and don't get any sleep, 7 am is a horrible time.  So for 3 weeks in a row, he had to be at football camp/practice and 7 am.  then scrimmages on the weekend.  Bring that along with little sleep, a whole lot more moving around, being stuck in the car, school shopping, open house at school and just in general trying to get the last bit of summer in, Pain levels were and still are through the roof.  I have done very little on the computer for in those weeks.  It simply just hurt to much to even type.
     The one good thing that did happen in that time is my insurance company finally decided that they would approve my Cymbalta and I am back on it.  Now, we are slowly working at getting it back to the right levels so  it works the best the best for me.  Of course it is a slow process, but I can tell you, if I was not on the Cymbalta, I would not be moving at all.  I am still a bit worried about the cost since we have such a high deductible, but being able to get out of bed sometimes is worth it.
     I am also still waiting to hear something, anything from disability.  I have had to fill out two additional papers since my original form and they were obtaining my medical records.  I am hoping to hear from them soon, at least with some tidbit of info.  It truly is a shame that it takes so long for them to take care of all of this, especially since most of the time people truly need financial and medical assistance it will afford them.  I have my fingers crossed and keep praying.  I just keep doing what I can.
     With the weather change and the humidity dropping, things have also been a bit easier on me.  Outside is not quite as exhausting as it was.  I can actually sit outside in the sun for a bit and not feel like I am drained because the humidity took all my energy.  It has quieted down around my house as well.  Living in a beach resort town, things are quite crazy from mid may to Labor Day.  Weekends may be a bit crazy yet, especially this weekend since it is Delmarva Bike Weekend.  This is the weekend where the area is invaded by every kind of motorcycle you can imagine.  It is always a whole lot of fun to see all of the bikes, see them all cleaned up, decked out, and hear them roar down the road.  It also means a bunch of my friends from up home in PA will be heading down to join the festivities.  I hope I get to meet up with a couple of them to at least just say hi.  Of course, I don't have a motorcycle, I don't have enough balance, or strength, but I do totally like the tricycle ones.  Maybe someday, lol.
     Well, that is all that has happened since the last time I posted.  A whole lot of rest, and very little of anything else.  Hoping to keep up the best I can.  How have you been?   I hope all is well for you.

Can't Sleep Again!

So it is 1:39 am on Thursday morning an I am still awake.  My forearms are on fire.  My hands are all cramped up and no, typing is probably not a smart idea.  My legs are achy and also burning.  I have this weird pain near my right should blade, almost feels like someone is grabbing and holding onto it for dear life.  Now, the headache.  I think for some reason I have upset the little people that live in my head and they are having a party with jack hammers and drums.  I am not sure what will make them happy again, if any one has any suggestions, I will try just about anything.  So once again, the guinea pig medicine test is starting.  The doctors feel I have tried enough  of the tricyclic antidepressants that my doctor feels my insurance should be ok with me going back on the cymbalta.  This means that  they should help pay for it rather than it being out of pocket.  Only problem is that I know have to wait and see if they will, or if they will decided to make this old dog jump through more new hoops.  Until then, they put me on steroids to see if they can get the recent attack of severe headaches under control.  I am also hoping if that happens, some of the other pain starts to get under control as well.  It has not helped that is has been a long week with week too.  Sunday was the Ken Neidinger Memorial Motorcycle Ride.  This was put together to raise money to help deter the cost of Ken's funeral and to start a college fund/grant for the police academy.  Ken, a police officer, an Iraq war vet and a friend of mine, died from a massive heart attack at the age of 37.  A total shock to all of us.  Ken only passed away in March.  Then yesterday was the one year anniversary of the death. of a girl I knew, who felt more like a daughter to me.  She hung herself and even though we had no idea she was even in that frame of mind, we did know she was fighting some demons here.  It was quite devastating, and even though we did find a note eventually, and got a little bit of information about why, we will never have all the answers and since she was only 27, we will miss seeing her complete many milestones in her life.  She also left behind a little girl who is now 7, so it is very hard.  It has just been a rough week.  That stress, as you know, just adds to all the pain.  So I am hoping I get a good nights sleep, or I finally get some sleep.  I just keep trying to remember that I will eventually find medicine that works, I will get things under control and thank goodness I have a husband and son that are willing to help.  The stress right now of applying for Social Security Disability and all the other stuff, will pass.  God only gives you what you can handle.  That is what they keep telling me.  I just keep trying to remind myself.  Until the next time, Gentle hugs.

Ken's motorcycle and boots at the Ride

Ken's Bike, helmet and Boots.  Ken's Brother rode his Bike, but Ken's spirit was with all the riders.