What a week!

So as you can see by looking at my posts, I have been neglecting my duties.  I have not been on my blog this past week hardly at all.  I missed my favorite day, Tuesday, thus missing my Ten on Tuesday entry, and only did a quick entry to let you all know I was still alive with pictures of what I was looking at while participating in a new adventure, crabbing, on Wednesday evening.  So here is all that has been occurring   If you are new to my blog, let me tell you quickly that I live in a summer resort town.  Awesome huh, yeah, most of the time.  Thus begins why this week started as a horrible week, got better and now, well I am just totally wiped out.  Many of my friends from my hometown, about 3 hours away, come down to my area for summer vacation.  For me, this is great.  If they don't stay in my actual home town, they usually stay in an area either 12 miles north or 12 miles south of me.  This week for some reason everyone seemed to be flocking for vacation at one time.  I was so excited.  Well then my bubble burst.  No one was returning my calls, my text messages, my facebook posts, anything.  I thought, what the heck did I do?  If you would know me, you would understand, I am the person that always worries about everyone, that always put forth the extra effort, that worked the hardest to make things work.  Now, I felt like since I was not around my hometown, still working my old job, since I got "sick", since I was not going out of my way to give, I was not good enough.  So now, boy was I mad!!!!   I decided I would just take a ride down to the area where everyone was staying and hope I would run into them.  Of course I did not, so now I was sad too.  Upon getting home, things got worse.  My so called best friend forever, just posted on facebook, that he was at the house of a person who in the past has immensely hurt me, caused major financial stress to my family, added stress to me personally, which we all know as a fibro patient I did not need, then tried to lie to mutual friends and make my husband and I look bad.  Thank goodness, my friends know me and knew she was lying, but still.  So now, I have had enough.  I post, on my facebook page that I have had enough, I have had it with fake friends, trying to keep friendships with people that don't have the time for me, that I will no longer be putting myself out on a limb if you can not meet me half way.  At this point, I am giving you a chance to remove yourself from my friends list and my life with no hard feelings, before I do it myself.  Well, of course, my so called BFF felt guilty and called me right away wondering if I was talking about him.  He proceeded to try and explain himself and then when he could not, he tried to twist things around and cause problems, bring up past issues that he thought would make me upset.  Guess what, it did not work.  But, it was still stressful.  So now, one of the most trusted person in my life, showed his true colors.  Down another so called friend.  Now, off goes a whole mess of  "friends" who can not make the 2 minutes for me, and honestly, I am fine with it.  It is the end of the week, and those friends that came down at the beginning of the week for vacation, yup, you guessed it, I still did not meet up with them.  So guess what, apparently they are not friends either.  The one good thing, one of my true friends did come down mid week, to stay at my house.  Her and her family have been at my house and having the time of their lives.  We have spent time together, they have done family things, we have laughed, talked, hung out and just had fun.  Only problem I have, is I have pushed myself to far, trying to keep up.  So now, I am totally wiped out, I have extremely high pain levels and feel like crap, but all in all it is so  worth it.  I did have another friend down I got to meet up with for a few minutes, which also was cool.  Another friend, and her family, are down and  we planned on meeting up. A family emergency interrupted those plans and things did work out.  This is something that does happen.  I am praying for her nephew and asking all that read this, do the same.  He is only 6, almost drown at the age of 1, and has been in a wheelchair and had a tracheotomy since then, had a cardiac arrest while with them only 10 miles from my house on vacation and flown back to my hometown, to the children's hospital.  He is still on life support and we are waiting to see if there is any further brain damage.  See, so we are not the only ones suffering and some are much worse off.  Something I try and remember every day.  So, wow, what a week is an understatement!
The thing I have to say is this, friendship is a two way street.  If your friend does not make the same effort to keep the friendship alive, is it really a friendship?  Do not waste your energy on people like this, or stress yourself out.  You need people that love you, and support you, the same way you do to them.  With the illness that we have, most people don't believe us, treat us different, or simply walk away.  You need to cherish the ones that are there for you, understand (or try to), believe in you, and treat you like they always did.  If they don't, it is time for you to walk away.  It is not easy, abut is anything we do?  Do you need any more stress?  Do you need a friend that only takes and does not give?    I know my life has changed.  I am no longer the constant giver, the over achiever, the perfectionist.  Is this something that is easy for me, hell no!!  Do I still push my self, of course I do! and I do it way more than I should and probably will til the day I die.  I will always be the "mother".  That is the job I believe I was programmed to be when I was born.  But I will tell you, I now have chosen that I will do that only for those who care enough to care back, and even though it hurts sometimes, I know I am right to do it and all it all, it is better for me.  I will always help people any way I can, but I won't hurt me in the process.

Hope this helps you Relax!

It has been a couple of days since I have been on here.  I am in the process of changing meds, AGAIN.  So far so good, more on that later, but in the meantime have been not feeling great.  On top of it, I have company and am really pushing myself.  Pain levels are through the roof, but I am trying to just have fun.  Saw this sunset while I was crabbing tonight, first time I have ever been crabbing.  I love it, relaxing, and fun to just sit there and do nothing.  I will be doing it again.  But here is what I saw, have a good night!

A Tribute to a Hero, Deputy Kyle Pagerly, Rest in Peace

Today, back in a small town in Pennsylvania, very near where I grew up, a man was laid to rest.  This man, is a hero in many different rights.  He was an Iraq war veteran, a police officer, a volunteer fire fighter, a local man supporting his community.  He was also a K-9 officer with an amazing partner.  He began his employment with the Berks County Sheriff's Department in 2006 and  helped start the K-9 unit for that department.  This officer was simply performing his duties on this fateful morning, attempting with his partner and other members of a task force, to serve a warrant on a subject that was 25 years old, and wanted on charges among which were of burglary, criminal trespassing, and terroristic threats.  When they approached the house and began speaking with the subjects girlfriend, he ran out of the back door, armed with an AK-47.  He fired shots and made threats to kill himself, and left behind a suicide note.  Being the K-9 unit, our hero began , with his partner Jynx, to track the suspect.  When they found the suspect, he opened fire, fatally wounding our hero, officer's returned fire, striking the suspect and later he also perished from his injuries.  The hero, Deputy Kyle Pagerly, was only 28 years old.  He left behind a wife who along with her now deceased husband, had just found out they were expecting their first child.  This is a something that for is very near and dear to my heart.  I worked with fellow officers and fire fighters in my old job as a emergency dispatcher.  From way back in elementary school, my father and uncle and cousin were involved with the local volunteer fire departments.  I grew up, learning to serve my neighbors in this capacity.  I was an EMT and volunteered and multiple community ambulance organizations.  I was a member of my local volunteer fire department on the ladies auxiliary and in the capacity of fund raising and the business side of the workings.  I grew up with no biological brothers, but had more older brothers than any person can handle.  Emergency Services is a family.  Whether you are in law enforcement, fire fighting, emergency medicine, emergency communications, or any other area of mix, once you are there, there is a bond among you that lasts a lifetime.  I have been through  more deaths, lost more friends, more "family" than I would ever want anyone to go through.  I can tell you though, at any point, I stand among a brotherhood and sisterhood of people that will stand proud and honor their fallen family member for all the days to come,  and that you will never find anywhere else.  It can be the officer you work with everyday, or an officer from a city 3000 miles away, when it happens, it touches and wounds each and every one of us.  I may no longer have the capabilities to be actively involved in the day to day happenings, but I pray everyday that they all come home to their families safe.  That god watches over them, and guides them safely through their hours while they are in service.  I ask that he give wisdom to my old coworkers that they can think on their feet and be able to handle and assist in any type of chaos or emergency.  I ask that he help them remember all available resources and how to get them there the fastest and at the time of need, that he holds them strong and steady!  These people deserve the utmost respect.  This hero deserved more, and today, he was bid farewell, by family, friends, coworkers, brothers in service, and his partner, Jynx.  I know this was hard for many close friends of mine.  We have just gone through a similar farewell in May, a natural cause death, but still of a young man, only 36, who served his country, his community, and made a huge impact.  I am putting this on here to ask for prayers.  If there is anyone out there that I know can pray, it is my fellow spoonies!  Please pray for peace for his family, his friends and his brothers and sisters in service.  Pray for his wife and unborn child.  Pray that memories and smiles soon replace nightmares and tears.  I have placed links to numerous tributes for this young hero on here.  Please watch them.  Please take time to think about your local emergency providers.  Saying thank you to them, makes it all worth while for them.  A simple smile, a small wave, or a thank you is an extremely small price to pay for someone who is willing to risk their life for you.  Again, like I always say, I want to thank all those men and women out there, that take time to protect the masses.  The ones that volunteer to keep everyone safe, who, on their own time, take time to care and protect my family.  In my eyes you are all amazing.  This includes all those fighting overseas to keep us safe.    Deputy Kyle Pagerly, you did not die in vain.  We will learn, we will rethink, we will hopefully as a community, a people, work harder to deal with those who feel it is their right to take people away and break the law.  We will remember you, and honor your memory to the best of our abilities.  R.I.P. sir, the others will take your watch from here.  You have done your job, and done it well.  E. O. W. 6-29-2011

One note, they are collecting donations for the unborn child, through the Babies R Us in

BABIES"R"US - LANCASTER [6504]

990 PLAZA BOULEVARDLANCASTER PA 17601P: (717)394-0823

 and 

BABIES"R"US - READING [6394]

2789 PAPER MILL ROADREADING PA 19610P: (610)373-7174

  

If you care to make any donations, please mail them to one of the stores, such as a gift card and place the info as for Kyle Pagerly infant donation on it.  

also watch this link as they honor Deputy Pagerly's partner for attempting to drag his partner to safety. Honoring K9 Deputy Jynx
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rest-in-Peace-Deputy-Kyle-Pagerly/202961106417385http://www.wfmz.com/berksnews/28468919/detail.html Again, thank you for simply allowing me the chance to show you just one hero.  Many more have died, and the cold, hard truth is many more will die, because people don't believe in rules.  Believe they are in charge.  Please, I ask again for prays for Deputy Pagerly's family, friends and brotherhood.  He will be missed deeply.  

Ten on Tuesday!!!! 7-5-2011

Ok, I am running just a few minutes late on getting this on the page, but I am still going to do it.  I am still having a bit of a crazy time with all the medicine changes and the headaches/migraines have been out of control since the doctor has decided to now take away the new medicine and not replace it.  So let me tell you it has been quite a crazy couple of weeks.  Throw in there, the July 4th holiday and visitors at my house from out of town for the last 13 days straight, I am totally wiped out and in need of a massive break.  Don't get me wrong, I loved having friends here, and can't wait til more get here, but we all know, with the exhaustion and pain, you wear out easy and extra people, simply means extra exhaustion.  So today, I have decided to try and make it simple.  I am going to simply show you 10 pictures of my favorite people, that have visited me so far this year!!!

1. My GRANDSON , oh yeah and my son

2. My nieces and nephew

3. My Cousin and her family

this is an older picture, not while they were at my house, but they were not all down at the same time, so I wanted a group picture of them, lol.

4.  My son Donovan's friends Jesse and Christian, both are just like another one of my kids!

5. Will and Mandy, Shaun and Helena  

   my adopted kids.....

6. Ronnie and Damien Finch 

friends of my boys from way back!

7.  Denise Zimmerman and Friends ( Denise is coming down with her kids in less than a week, I can't wait)

8. My Parents!  Ok now this is scary, but this picture is of my parents at my wedding almost 16 years ago.  It is the only one I have.  They hate having their picture taken, lol.

9.  My brother-in-law, his girlfriend and my niece and nephew.  

10. Dan and his family.  I have known Dan since 4th grade.  Pretty funny huh!

Well, that is the top 10, or first 10 visitors to my new house here at the Beach.  I am excited about having more visitors.    The summer is getting booked.  It is nice to be able to have people come down and for the most part, they are awesome about my ability or inability to do things.  I simply tell them use what ever you want and clean up after yourself, lol.  It is cheaper for them, and I get to see people I miss very much!

  

Just a side note, friends still to come!!!

Holly and family.....I started working with Holly at the 911 center about 10 years ago.  I was talking about my husband's sick uncle one day and she overheard.  His nickname was Uncle Fuzz.  She found it quite strange because her half brothers and sisters had a sick uncle as well, they called him Uncle Fuzz.  Turns out, her half siblings were my husbands cousins,  very small world!!!!  Now we are the best friends, and well in a strange sort of way, family!!!

Linda and family,  Linda was my best friend in kindergarten and all through elementary school and on through school.  She lived right around the corner from me, up until she got married.  So let me see, friends for 35 years  in September.  Pretty Darn amazing.

Well, I am sure there will be more, but for now, this is the list.  Christian will be coming back, as well as my son and grandson.  Will, Mandy, Shaun and Helena also want to come again, hopefully Helena will know then if the baby she is carrying will be a boy or a girl, then I can go shopping!  I know my cousin will be back and hope my mom and dad get down.  Well, such is life at a beach house I guess.  It sure could be a whole lot worse.  I try and remember that when my pain levels are high and I hurt a whole lot.  I just try and remember, it is good that I am in pain, I know I am alive!!!  Gentle hugs to all.  

5 Ways to Help Friends and Family Manage Chronic Pain | Dancing with Pain®

5 Ways to Help Friends and Family Manage Chronic Pain | Dancing with Pain®