Monday, June 6, 2011
Figure it out?
I am at the point of complete confusion. I think I finally have things figured out, start to get my finances in order, the I realize, I forgot something. Ok, I have to tell you, the absolute worst part of this whole Fibromyalgia thing is the fibro-fog. The fact that my once agile brain, is slow and muddled, even forgetful. I was a person who was capable of doing multiple things at once, and actually doing them right. I was a police,fire and EMS dispatcher. I had to be able to talk on the phone, listen to the phone, type, talk and answer my radio and listen to my fellow dispatchers as well as complete tasks all at once. Now, if I am doing something on the computer, I don't really do well if someone talks to me, and mostly miss the conversation or question they ask. I can not talk on the phone and be on the computer at the same time and be as complete as I used to. I just recently almost sent us into a major overdraft situation with our bank because I totally forgot the one bill we have auto deducted from our account. The one that has been deducted the same time each month for the last 8 months. How did I forget that? Well I guess it would be the same way as I forget simple words I need to finish a sentence, a doctors appointment that I remind my son of just 4 hours and then totally forget and have to rush around to get to, and even recipes that I have used for years. Thank goodness my husband remembered and my family was able to cover me so I was not owing the bank my life savings and my first born in fees. We all know how much this "disease" sucks, but losing your mind makes this even worse. I am a person that has always been on top of everything, now I barely can remember my name, or at least that is how I feel. Does anyone else feel that way? How do you figure it out? I will tell you what I have started doing. I am the queen of notes. It may be annoying, but learn to keep paper and pen or pencil with you at all times. A calender will become your best friend as will the calender on your cell phone. I love my phone, it beeps to remind me of every crazy appointment I or anyone in my family has, as well as any other important thing such as birthday's. I also use my google calender to put appointments in so that it actually sends me an email to remind me of something that is going on. I am thankful for my calenders and notebook. I also have a thing through my bank that sends me notices about 1 week in advance when my bills need paid, I did not have my auto deducted bill on there, but I do now. I truly believe I am quite a burden on my poor husband. He works a full time job as a manager for a convenience store, so he basically works 24/7 then he deals with me and all my crap, helps do anything and everything when I am not able to, and now he even has to deal with covering my screw ups because my brain stops working. If I can try and keep things on track by making a thousand notes then I will continue to do it. If I get carpal tunnel from the notes, oh well, what is a little more pain, lol. Can I figure it out and make it work, I sure hope so. Will I give up, no way in hell. I will not let this win. I may have to stop in the middle of a conversation and think of a word or make a hand gesture to help me finish a sentence. I may have to walk with a cane, sit in a wheel chair or not go somewhere, to be able to do something else. I may not be able to multi-task like I used to and yes, my memory is definitely not as good as it was, but I will not give up living within my ability and pushing myself on occasion, to have a good and fulfilling life. If I figure it out, I will tell you and ask for you to tell me and others if you figure it out!