Monday, May 23, 2011
So it has been a week and a half since I started the new medicine. I just have no idea what to think. I am falling asleep sooner most nights. I don't see the clock at 3:30 without having closed my eyes at all. The major problem I see is I just feel so incredibly exhausted all the time. Does this mean the medicine is making me more tired and I am still not getting the proper sleep even though I am going to sleep sooner, or does it mean the medicine is doing well, and there is something else wrong? This is another one of those things that tend to drive me nuts. Can anything at all be easy? Can I just get a medicine that works and does not put me through a crazy spiral of changes to see if things will work out. I, for the first time in my life, since I was an infant, slept in the car on a ride. That is crazy for me. I guess I will give it more time to see what happens. Maybe the fact that the weather is changing and I spent a weekend away from home and pushing to do more stuff than I would have had I been home just put me at exhaustion and I needed to and still need the extra sleep. I really wish I could figure it out. What is even worse is that I am having family down to my house for the holiday weekend coming up so I guess sleeping extra now probably is not a bad idea, and then next week I will probably be tired as well. See hand then they wonder why things are so difficult for us. Life does not make things easy, it would not be worth anything if it was handed to us, or at least that is what they keep saying. As much as I really want a break, and would love a break, I guess I will just keep trying to move ahead, and if it means I have to go through this craziness of med changes and ups and downs again, at least I know I can be thankful I am still here to do it.